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Marriage and Other Acts of Charity: A Memoir, by Kate Braestrup
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In her award-winning memoir Here If You Need Me, Kate Braestrup won the hearts of readers across the country with her deeply moving and deftly humorous stories of faith, hope and family. Now, with her inimitable voice and generous spirit, she turns her attention to the subjects of love and commitment in MARRIAGE AND OTHER ACTS OF CHARITY. As a minister, Kate Braestrup regularly performs weddings. She has also, at 44, been married twice and widowed once, and accordingly has much to say about life after the ceremony. From helping a newlywed couple make amends after their first fight to preparing herself for her second marriage, Braestrup offers her insights and experiences on what it truly means to share your life with someone, from the first kiss to the last straw, for better or for worse. Part memoir, part observation of modern marriage, and part meditation on the roles of God and love in our everyday lives, MARRIAGE AND OTHER ACTS OF CHARITY is a unique and unforgettable look into why, and how, we love each other, and proves yet again why Kate Braestrup's writing is "inspirational in the best sense" (New York Daily News).
- Sales Rank: #768531 in Books
- Published on: 2010-01-13
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.50" h x .75" w x 6.00" l, .75 pounds
- Binding: Hardcover
- 217 pages
From Publishers Weekly
In this breezy, soft-pedaling exercise in spiritual empowerment, Braestrup (Here If You Need Me) shares some of her hard-won marital wisdom. As an ordained minister, Braestrup counsels couples to love and cherish one another, even in the face of a 50% divorce rate, and asserts that of the three kinds of love known in ancient biblical Greek—eros, philos, and agape—the greatest is the last. Translated into Latin as charitas, agape is the generous, selfless love given unconditionally and best mimics the nature of God's love. Braestrup traces her own call to the ministry to the aftermath of the shocking sudden death of her policeman husband, Drew, killed in a car accident in 1996, when her family and friends rallied around her and the couple's four children with abundant love and care. She reveals that not long before his death, the couple had suffered a marital crisis and sought counseling for what the author considered clearly Drew's incurable character disorder; however, she was jolted from the brink by the thought of their losing each other. Employing examples of the couples she knows, such as game warden Jeremy Judd and his betrothed, town dispatcher Melanie, who sought the author's advice as they embarked on their marriage, as well as a soon-to-be-divorced couple, Jesse and Georgiana, Braestrup offers grains of folksy, charitable wisdom. She is comfortable discussing death (One hundred percent of marriages end), declaring that the only recourse is Jesus' message: Love more. (Jan.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Review
"Braestrup's narration...is filled with the same comfort she offers those she ministers to. Her friendly, easygoing northeastern-accented voice is instantly soothing....Her reading has an often prayerful cadence, though she goes easy on Bible quotation and her discussions of theological issues are so wise and well-thought-out that even the nonreligious won't be put off."―Publishers Weekly (starred review)
About the Author
Kate Braestrup is the chaplain for the Maine Warden Service and the author of the memoir Here If You Need Me and the novel Onion. She has written for the New York Times Magazine, Boston Globe Sunday Magazine, O, Mademoiselle, More, Ms., and Law and Order and lives in Maine with her husband and children.
Most helpful customer reviews
53 of 53 people found the following review helpful.
MARRIAGE & other acts of CRUELTY
By L. J. Schrader
My husband took a look at the cover of this book and laughed, as he thought the title said "cruelty" rather than "charity". When I corrected him I realized that, in fact, it is a bit of both.
Kate Braestrup had some excellent points to make in this memoir, lessons she has learned from experiencing and observing the male/female relationship. One that stuck with me was that "100% of relationships end". We are lucky if they end after a long, happy life together, but the fact is some relationships are cut short. Whether it be through untimely death, divorce or things beyond our control we should learn to appreciate every moment. We should focus on the happiness, not the frustrations of a relationship if we want it to thrive.
Unfortunately for Kate, she learned some of her lessons the hard way. Fortunately for us, she shares her learned wisdom and sprinkles it with some faith filled touches.
I would not consider this a "religious" book, though she is a minister and faith is obviously important to her story. What I can say is that this felt a bit like a series of parables with a very neutral point of view. There may be meaning to each of her chapters, but nothing that felt as if she was leading the reader to a biased conclusion.
The only complaint I have about the book is that it can come off as a bit intellectual because of the language. For example, most of us do not use the following words in everyday conversation(at least not in my New England town): imprimatur, salvific, palimpsest,inchoate,construal, cosseted and extracanonical to name only a few. I would have preferred that this be written in a lighter tone. It's very down-to-earth in theme, so the "big words" felt out of place.
That said, this was an interesting read and provided some thoughtful insight which I enjoyed and I think you will,too.
17 of 17 people found the following review helpful.
Another winner for Kate!
By Meg
As a Mainer, I particularly enjoy Kate's writings. I know the places that she's talking of and I think that helps the book to be more "real" and applicable to my own life. I must say I really enjoyed this book. It didn't focus so much on her marriage (s) as it did the institution of marriage. Yes she uses some "big" words and faith to get her point across, but it isn't over done.
As many poignant moments are in this book, there are just as many funny ones. My personal favorite was her children's pronounciation of her second husband's name. (You'll know it when you get to it!) This is an excellent Sunday afternoon book, soft and quiet, deep and insightful.
14 of 14 people found the following review helpful.
Another Moving Memoir From a Beautiful Writer
By O. Merce Brown
*****
I read Kate Braestrup's award-winning first memoir "Here If You Need Me" as background before I read this--her latest book--and I'm so glad I did, because she is someone I wanted to know more about. It was helpful, but certainly not necessary, as this memoir stands alone. Together, the two are a wonderful read.
Marriage and Other Acts of Charity is about the author's experiences with not only marriage, but life, love, God, parenting, organized religion, motherhood, grief, spirituality, and creating meaning when it seems impossible. I found this a beautiful book, another stunning memoir filled with poignant stories and hard lessons learned. The author has keen insights and a fresh way of looking at the world. She also has a great sense of humor.
Although the author is a minister, this is not really a religious book. No matter what you believe, you will be comfortable with this book. Rev. Braestrup works in the Unitarian Universalist church, a denomination that is known for being tolerant and inclusive; reading her memoir made me really like Unitarians. It made me feel like there is maybe even a place for me in a church that is devoid of mean theology. This is a peaceful and loving book for people of all faiths or no faiths.
It is about love and where and how you find it. And about the challenges that looking for it everywhere poses. You'll find the stories unforgettable.
Highly recommended.
*****
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